


We lay, we lay together just not too close, too close (How close is close enough?)

by manesalex



Series: Makedamnsure [3]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: First Date, Fluff, M/M, michael and alex are finally getting it right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manesalex/pseuds/manesalex
Summary: Michael finally gets to take Alex on a proper first date.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Makedamnsure [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650517
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	We lay, we lay together just not too close, too close (How close is close enough?)

Michael knocks nervously on the cabin door. Finally, after months of therapy, months of painstakingly getting clean and sober, months of working through his issues, he’s here. And, somehow, Alex is willing to give him another shot.

It took him a while to see things from Alex’s point of view, to see how he hadn’t meant to hurt him, how he was just doing the best he could with his own trauma, how he was just loving Michael in his own way. But he’s done the work and now he’s finally here.

The door opens and Michael delights in the way Alex reacts to the flowers he holds out to him. The way his eyes widen in surprise and then a blush stains his beautiful skin. The way he ducks his head a bit as he takes them. They’re just pretty things Michael spotted by the side of the road, probably more weeds than anything else, but, if they make Alex react like this, Michael knows he’ll keep stopping to pick flowers for Alex.

And then he takes Alex in and, oh fuck, he looks amazing. His hair has grown longer over the past few months and he’s taken to wearing clothes that remind Michael of a grown version of the boy he fell in love with ten years ago. He’s growing back into himself, rather than the person Michael realizes his father expected him to be and Michael feels fortunate just to be able to witness Alex’s evolution into the man he was always meant to become.

Today, he’s wearing dark jeans, a green henley, and a leather jacket and Michael just wants to see those clothes on the floor, but, well, he knows that’s another thing he needs to work on. The sex with Alex has always been easy. Epic, yes, but it’s the simplest thing in the world to fall back into bed with him and forget all the other things they need to work on. So he’s committed to taking it slow this time. _Dating_ Alex. _Courting_ him. Something he’s wanted to be able to do for a decade.

“Thank you,” Alex murmurs, taking the bouquet and leading Michael inside while he searches in his kitchen cupboards for something to stick them in.

Buffy lumbers over to him and Michael kneels on the floor, unworried about getting dog hair on the best jeans he owns. Isobel might complain about it, but Alex won’t mind. Buffy rolls over onto her back and Michael gently scratches her belly while Alex moves around the kitchen.

It’s clear he doesn’t have a vase. Or anything of the sort. So Alex grabs a glass, fills it with water, and sticks them in there, before heading back to the door and toward Michael. He stands when Alex reaches him, brushing off his jeans a bit, and listens while Alex tells Buffy to be a good girl and promises to return later.

It’s not long before they’re both in Michael’s truck, headed for town. Alex is singing quietly along with some old country song on the radio and Michael is certain it’s the most beautiful thing he’s heard in his life.

Michael rushes to get out after he parks, moving around the truck to meet Alex and offer his hand.

He’s surprised but pleased when Alex slides his hand into Michael’s, intertwining their fingers. He knows to be careful with Alex about this, about displays of affection. Finally knows that it’s not about him at all. But sometimes it’s hard to shake that feeling that he’s not good enough for Alex Manes. And that Alex knows that and is ashamed of him. He has to keep reminding himself that Alex is scared for him, wants to protect him. And that had been a revelation. That Alex Manes loved him enough to put him and his needs first, even when Michael didn’t see that he was doing so.

Tonight, Alex’s hand is in his and he lets Michael lead him into The Crashdown, grabbing a booth at the back, even though it’s pretty empty now, an hour before closing. After Michael had explained his concerns, trying to avoid revealing too much about their issues, Liz had assured him it would be quiet and an excellent time for him to take Alex on their first real date.

Alex continues to hold his hand, their arms stretched halfway across the table between them, and Michael struggles to focus on anything more than the gentle way Alex’s thumb is tracing circles on the now smooth skin of his left hand.

So he’s surprised by the way Alex jerks backward, pulling his hand away, when Rosa drops by their table.

She looks so different from the girl she was, choosing to chop off all her hair and dye it blonde, hoping to look different enough that she could pass for someone else. It’s not really enough to avoid being associated with Rosa, though most of the town has accepted the explanation that she’s a cousin who moved here from Albuquerque.

Michael knows she hasn’t forgiven him for the part he played in the coverup of her death, but now he’s content to keep on working for it. He may never receive it, but that’s okay too. He knows now that what he did was unforgivable, the ways his and his siblings’ choices impacted the Ortechos and Rosa especially.

Michael returns his focus to Alex, reminding himself that Alex only pulled away because he’s scared. Alex is just as traumatized as he is, just in different ways. And Alex loves him. So he just leaves his hand on the black formica table and lets Alex decide what he wants.

And, as they’re giving Rosa their orders, he’s rewarded for his patience by Alex’s hand sliding back into his, long, elegant fingers interlacing with his own. He just squeezes gently, hoping it’s comforting. Like Alex still being here is for him.

He tells Alex about his day, listens while Alex tells him about his own, and teases him about the way he dips his fries into his chocolate milkshake.

He’s delighted by the way Alex blushes and smiles and then collects himself before raising one perfect eyebrow and challenging him to try it.

It’s disgusting, but absolutely worth it for the way Alex laughs at Michael’s reaction, throwing his head back, face filled with joy.

Michael had thought he couldn’t love Alex more, but now he’s certain he’d happily spend the rest of his life looking for ways to make Alex Manes laugh like this again.

After dinner, Michael drives them out into the desert, to a spot not haunted by the ghosts of their past.

Alex helps him lay out pillows and blankets before climbing into the bed of his truck with him.

Michael lays back, ready to just talk and look at the stars, but is surprised by the way Alex curls into him, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder, letting Michael wrap his arm around his back and hold him close.

“Thank you,” Alex whispers into the cold night air, as Michael covers them both with a blanket. At first, he thinks it’s just for the blanket, but then Alex continues, “For understanding… When I pulled away, it wasn’t… I do love you. And I’m so proud to be with you. I just-”

Michael can feel Alex struggling to find the words, so he reassurese him, “I know, darlin’.” He presses a kiss to Alex’s hair, inhaling that familiar scent, pine and smoke and Alex. “I love you too.”

He pulls Alex closer and starts to tell him about the stars he can see, pointing out each of them and sharing the stories of constellations he’s told Alex many times before. That feels like a lifetime ago, when they were just kids, falling together and then apart again, unsure how to navigate a world that seemed determined to keep them from being happy. Back when Michael was certain it was Alex who was determined to keep them apart.

Alex just makes a contented noise and snuggles in closer, fingers absentmindedly tracing the buttons of Michael’s shirt, not quite sliding in through the gaps in the fabric.

And Michael knows how lucky he is to finally, _finally_ have this. To be able to hold Alex in the bed of his truck and talk about meaningless little things, not because they can’t talk about the big things, but because he’s been working through those things with Alex for months and they’re finally maybe on the same page. They can talk about the big things and the little things and everything in between. And he can keep reminding himself that, when Alex gets overwhelmed and leaves, it’s just that and Alex will come back when he’s ready. They’re finally good. They’re finally _ready_ to love each other and be loved by each other.

So he’ll hold Alex for a while longer. And then he’ll drive him home and walk him to the door of his cabin. He’ll hear Buffy barking, but he’ll take his time. He’ll cup Alex’s jaw in one hand and lean in and kiss him goodnight. He’ll resist the urge to go for more. He’ll remind himself that they’ve already perfected that and this is about working on the rest. So they can have a future together.

He’ll walk back to his truck and wait there until Alex is safely inside, not because he thinks Alex needs protecting, but because he wants to be able to take care of him. He _enjoys_ taking care of Alex.

And then he’ll drive home and spend the rest of the night just thinking about the way Alex’s hand felt in his, the way his nose crinkled when he laughed, and the way Alex’s lips against his felt like coming home.

But, for now, he’s just going to bask in the simple joy of being able to hold Alex Manes in his arms for as long as he wants.


End file.
